May 2010
9 posts
Whiskey, with an E.
mikethomson23:
Chip was out with coworkers. He drank Jameson®.
Steph was there. The hottest girl at work.
“Hey Steph, can I get you a drink?”
“Thanks I’m fine.”
“Want go to the movies Friday?”
“No. Chip, I don’t like you like that.”
Chip punched Steph in the nose. “You like that?”
Diet
putintowords:
He wanted to loose weight. He started to exercise every morning: at 5:30 am he begins his workout. Then he had a light breakfast. Everyday he had a salad for lunch, and a soup for dinner. He quit drinking and partying. He lost three years of fun in a week.
Moving to Australia
swilco:
It was a terrible horrible no good very bad day. The kind of day that makes you want to quit. Should I move to Australia? Better not, days like this happen, even in Australia. That’s what Alexander taught me. Except in the book, Alexander didn’t get a margarita before bed.
Where do I know that line? From one of those young reader books no?
Things you'll never hear a guy say
mikethomson23:
(Looking down) I think my dick is too big.
(Seeing a $100 bill in the street) Ew I’m not picking up stuff in the street.
(To his girlfriend, after explaining the $100 bill story) It was dirty!
(To his roommate Mindy) Oh man you got tickets to the 12:05 Sex and the City 2? Count me in!!
(to his Storywriting teacher) Hey thanks for letting me use your motorbike last Saturday.
Club Dolce
mikethomson23:
“This club is fucking awesome” Chuck thought. He saw a girl at the bar. She didn’t have pockets, a purse, or a bra on.
“Hey. I notice you didn’t bring any money, but you’re drinking a Cosmo. Weird.”
“Fuck off loser.”
Chuck knocked over the Cosmo, “Have a nice night.”
How to Write a 50-Word Story
fiftystories:
He typed a little bit and had eight words. Typed a little more and had sixteen.
“Not quite there yet,” he thought to himself.
He continued to type and type, until he was halfway there.
“Needs an ending,” he said thinking aloud.
Suddenly and without warning he spontaneously combusted.
Finished.
Photography Frustration
swilco:
Beer beer everywhere yet not a drop to drink. Spray paint, glycerin, gelatin, salt. Lights camera action. Again and again. Third time’s a charm? Better try the fourth. Too much head or not enough? Light light light light light light light light light Everyone goes thirsty in beer bottle hell.
Nice use of the word “light”. Cheater. ;)
Hangover
putintowords:
She woke up with the worst hangover ever. And a naked guy beside her.
“Hi”, he said.
“Hi”, she replied.
“Do you remember anything from last night?”
“No”.
“Are you friends of David?”
“No”
“Were you at Joe’s last night?”
“Yeah”.
“That place is amazing. We should go there sometime”.
awesome
RE: Late
viniciusd:
Hey guys. Motorcycle stolen. Biking in. Will be late. Not sure by how
much. Depends how windy it is. See you soon.
Actually, (I’m really sorry)….my mind is elsewhere right now. I’m
going to have to reschedule. I’ll let you guys know. Really
sorry.
FaelanBlair.com
New look! Classic poor taste…
(yep. there’s 50.)
I’m not sure this counts as YOU writing a story, but very...
April 2010
7 posts
3 tags
Inspiration > Nostalgia
frankb13:
Johnny traded his records for cassettes, then traded his cassettes for CD’s, then traded his CD’s for Mp3’s. When his apartment flooded, his computer crashed and his old collections were ruined. He decided the only thing left to do was sing, play guitar, and make some music of his own.
5 tags
Max was a good dog
viniciusd:
Max loved to play; everything was a toy. When he chewed on shoes, Peter sent him to his cage. Max was sorry.
As the vet squeezed the syringe, Peter cried.
“You were a good boy, Max.”
Max looked up one last time.
“You thought that baby was just a toy.”
Wow. Nice.
4 tags
Counting
swilco:
Breath in… pause. Too long of a pause. Was that it? Can life just vanish before your eyes? The machines continued to whirl, oblivious to the sudden chill across my spine. Suddenly, a shaky exhale. As I held her hand I knew we would be safe until the next breath.
6 tags
good thing this isn't about me
viniciusd:
The teacher assigned 5000 words. The student had never written that much before—he’s used to tag lines. He decided that to write this amount in one week, he needed to prioritize.
He quit his job, dropped his other classes, got a divorce.
Now he has nothing to write about.
6 tags
Jerusalem
swilco:
The walls were enforced with lead. A thick metal door sealed tightly over a welcoming wooden one. Out of the single window, opening like a microwave door onto the city below, the scents and sounds of ancient history poured through the tiny room. “Welcome to your new home,” he said.
5 tags
Not in the Mood
fiftystories:
“I’m not a machine,” Helen thought to herself.
The couple lay in bed together on their sides, Frank facing Helen’s backside. Frank tugged on her shoulder again, this time rolling her onto her back. He went in to kiss her, but she pretended to sleep.
“Twice in one night is enough.”
in-sink-erator
viniciusd:
“Shit!” Tammy said as her engagement ring fell in the sink.
She stuck her hand in and moved her tiny fingers carefully around the blades. She felt mushy tomatoes and carrots, but no ring.
“Why are you washing dishes in the dark?” John asked as he flipped the wrong switch.
December 2009
13 posts
Clouds
Tell your mom her new name is Buzzkill.
jacshel:
All my life I’ve wanted to play in the clouds. I’ll never forget the day that my mother told me that it would never happen. “They are just wet air. You would fall right through.” Still, every time I fly, I can’t hold back the desire to jump on them.
Little Man
jacshel:
I looked down and saw a tiny man in the sand. I wondered how he got there and why he was just standing there all alone in the middle of the desert. I stared and stared and stared but he never moved. I finally blinked and then he was gone.
WatchThis is so bad it’s great. You should’ve told me, I could have been historical consultant! Plus I have a replica Roman sword.
lexicographer:
Follow-up to “You Say Home Movie, I Say Residence Film”
You Say Home Movie, I Say Residence Film
lexicographer:
They dug through closets for props and costumes, turned a garage into a Roman palace, made their parents drive all over Miami to film on location, shot entire storyboards in one take, and never once said, “We’ll do it in post.”
The shoddy production was a masterpiece of its time.
Out there
kaelyco:
I’ll sip my beer and wait for your reply.
My toes tap and my fingers crack. I notice the dust that collects on sides of the fan blades, spinning around and around but clinging tight.
Check my phone for texts. It always tricks me when the screen catches the light.
ribesuvacrispa:
Anchorman was shot into the DVD player.
We had MTV on the entire night.
I hardly slept.
We got up early and got bagels.
The bagel-lady yelled again.
The bagel-guy slapped a blob of cream cheese in the middle of yours..
Mine was perfect.
So is your brother.
Good Night
kikelefeld:
Peter went to bed totally drunk. While sleeping he felt a comfortable warm sensation. Peter realized that life is great and that he was a really happy guy. He thought about the great friends he had and his wonderful family. Next day he woke up and realized that he had pissed himself.
Is hard to walk
kikelefeld:
“Ok I can do it”
“ Just walk and no one will notice that I’m drunk”
“Just like this”
“One foot after the other”
“yeah I am doing it”
“Just don’t fall”
“I just need to make 10 more steps and I am out of here”
“ Oh shit I am dizzy”
“buaaaaaa”
I Love Planes
notjustsomeonelse:
One day, I’ll have breakfast in Paris and brunch in England.
One day, I’ll fall asleep in Japan and wake up in Mexico.
One day, I’ll fight for peace in India, Luanda and Iraq.
And if any time is left, right before dinner, I will help America destroy the World.
Is that the wind?
notjustsomeonelse:
Anyone found fifty lost words?
A moment ago they were right next to me.
Suddenly, they were gone.
I swear I saw them!
Damn you Amy Winehouse! Stop singing!
Hello Barrington Levy! Didn’t hear you for a while!
Dead? Who? Amy? God?
Oh, you.
Sorry for that.
I didn’t know.
Half-lives
tehwordnerd:
48 weeks until my next ridiculous costume
24 hours that don’t feel long enough for everything I need to do
12 days until I go home (wow, already?!)
6 months until I start daydreaming of new countries
3 minutes until my dinner’s done microwaving
0 seconds until the clock resets
jacshel:
“How was the movie?”
“Oh, you know, horrible acting, but that seventeen-year-old is so hot when he takes his clothes off.”
“That’s a sentence you should never say at twenty-five. You know you could get arrested for that?”
“Not for just thinking it! Besides, it would be worth it.”
“Freak.”
A Night in Atitlan
I thought Atitlan was a made up place….
lexicographer:
“Watch out for scorpions.”
“Stop pulling my leg.”
“I’m not! They are crawlers.”
“Meaning?”
“They burrow between fabric at night, so make sure to check your sheets before going to bed and shake your clothes before putting anything on.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup.”
“Shit. We’re in the fucking wilderness!”
“Welcome to Guatemala.”
November 2009
2 posts
Can You Hear Me Now
kreel:
He talks on his cell phone while turning into his driveway but has to stop because two people are walking by. The car behind him screams “Oh my God” and swerves to the left. She was on a cell phone too. Maybe they should have called each other. Less confusion.
Pandora's box
notjustsomeonelse:
Computers are a fast way to produce modern ideas.
They can create, undo, copy and paste almost anything.
They are even able to save our ideas safely inside them.
The work is there, half done, just like a bucket of fresh red paint that stays fresh forever.
Is it worth it?
October 2009
14 posts
Authentic
kaelyco:
He was a fierce Aztec warrior. A bronzed body that stood proud, tan beneath the florescent Brooklyn streetlights. His legs were hairy but muscular beneath his golden, hand-sewn shorts. He was going for fearsome, but a flimsy cardboard sword swung low on his hip.
Halloween really brings out the best.
The Idea
lexicographer:
Toes twiddle with the area rug as fingers search for complete thoughts on the keyboard. Eyes look to the ceiling for inspiration, studying the cerebrum wrinkles with intensity. A cold wind blows crumpled paper through alleys of the forebrain. Half finished ideas tumble past as I reach for the one.
Intermission
lexicographer:
The second hand performs fouettes around the clock as I watch from my front row seat, mesmerized. What precision! I applaud with fervor and turn to share my awe with the rest of the audience, but I’m met with blank stares from inanimate objects. Time to get back to work.
Legendary
kaelyco:
Supposedly there’s a zebra that lives along I-75, just south of Gainesville, right near Café Risque – the “world-famous” diner/strip club (with trucker showers!) I went there once, just because, and ordered a milkshake while girls danced on poles way too close to people’s food. Wish I’d seen the zebra instead.
Sometimes it sucks to be good.
kikelefeld:
I saw an old lady trying to cross the street. As a good citizen I ran and took her arm to help her cross, then she hit me with her purse and started screaming. The police came and hit me as well. I spent three hours in the police station thanks to that cute old lady.
Beachfront property?
tehwordnerd:
Gentle waves lap at the sandy gravel, the water line rising slowly. A brilliant sun shines overhead, and cumulus clouds meander by. The ebb and flow teases my car tires, tagging them playfully but never following through.
There’s no beach. I’m at home, watching tidal, stormdrain-fail pwnage.
Time for galoshes.
No clocking out
tehwordnerd:
Lemmings scamper to their end, save one. It claws to a halt at the penultimate moment, gravel flecks rocketing into oblivion.
Must be a writer.
Really, with what we go through, it’s a wonder we don’t off ourselves already.
Sadly, we can’t bear the thought of wasting perfectly good material.
Alternate Ending to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom...
kreel:
Indie had only seconds before the nuclear bomb detonated. He wasn’t going to whip his way out of this one. He saw a fridge and crawled inside. Boom. The fridge crashed down like a truck barreling over a rocky cliff. Inside was a motionless Indie, dead. Cause: 200 broken bones.
Waxing disobedient
tehwordnerd:
“Would you like to create a new Blank document?” the program asks me. “Not really, thank you. I was hoping it would say something.”
Stupid whiteness. Vast expanses of nothingness in the key of #FFFFFF. Effed.
My inner child appears out of nowhere.
I smell a fresh box of Crayolas.
Niiiice
lexicographer:
The smell of freshly brewed Cuban coffee fills the morning air as I drink my Folgers Original on the balcony. Each sip is inferior to the last, and all I can think about is how much better a cafe con leche would be right now. I should have had tea.
Becoming A Creative
nikki18a07:
Tom attended Howard University and majored in advertising. He thought
he’d be equipped to be copywriter upon graduation. To his
dismay, and half of his graduating class, He was not
prepared for copywriting at all.Now he attends Miami Ad
School, hoping to get it right a second time around.
What is the sound of one hand tweeting?
tehwordnerd:
a long time ago it was cool to write in prose of set syllables
the rules were quite chic five to start, seven the next end on a fiver
haiku inventor rolling in your grave, i’m sure you started the game
technology flaunts the new hipster numbering one-hundred forty
I hate this in a good way. ;) - Fway
Something to sleep on
kreel:
A homeless guy approached me and said that he would help me dump some mattresses I had in my truck. I told him no, but he went to my passenger side and just got inside. He asked me for money but I told him that he could have the mattresses.
Andrew
kaelyco:
The twin beds are pressed together in my bedroom and I awaken to my mom stroking back my bangs. “Honey, it’s time to move to another room,” she says. I am five years old and the bathroom tile diamonds make creases on my legs as we wait out the storm.
August 2009
5 posts
Filth and Loathing on Euclid Avenue
gmccalmon:
Today will mark the first day of my domestic field study: how long will a Frenchman wallow in his own pollution? I understand that some people are just negligent and rude, but the Frenchman takes slovenly behavior to a new level. Lloyd Christmas was right: the French are assholes man.
idiot
fiftyfifty:
Every night when Lisa was done using her laptop she put it into sleep mode instead of shutting it all the way down. This morning she tried to turn it on but it was locked and required a login and a password. She didn’t know either one of them. Shit.
At the parent/teacher conference
50wordsfromwill:
At a parent/teacher conference, the parents had to sit in children’s desks. Bigger-than-average Bob crammed into one at the back of the class. Boredom eventually led him to open it, whereupon he found $1.15 in change, which he took and replaced with a crisp $20.
briansonline:
When I emerge from the fog, a doctor hovers over me, along with my family. From the looks on their faces, I know its grim. “How bad is it?” I ask, not feeling anything. “Sir, you may not have what we call a human figure anymore.” “But the Macbook’s ok?”
Finished
justfifty:
He went down to the bar. He didn’t have to say a word, the bartender knew exactly what he wanted. He chugged the drink down in a second and even before he put his glass down the bartender served the next one. He was not an alcoholic. He just drank everyday.